The Housing Crunch Hits Home

The people across the street are moving. They were loud, inconsiderate neighbors who sometimes blocked my driveway with their trucks. Their little girl was a brat who sassed me back when I asked her not to hang out in front of my house because she was so noisy. I couldn’t believe it when there was a for sale sign on their front lawn. They bought their house when prices were high. The sign was up for four months. And yesterday I decided to get back into selling real estate, so I looked up their property. Sure enough it was in default and on the market for about $150,000 less than they bought it for, subject to the lender approving the short sale. Today the sign is gone, though the listing still shows it’s active. That probably means it’s going into foreclosure. That makes me feel very sad–for them- even though they were annoying neighbors, and for everyone else on this street, including myself. Misfortune is still misfortune no matter who it hits.

I’d tried to sell my house three times, but nobody would buy it. I knew it wasn’t worth what I borrowed, but I didn’t realize the value in my area had fallen so low. My hope is that I start making more money so I can continue to afford the payments, because the alternative is not something I want to think about.

Your Desk Says A Lot More Than You Think

Your desk is the one place at work where you can express your individuality. But watch out! What it says about you can affect your relationship with your boss, your co-workers, or your clients.

Here are some tips to make a positive image and still keep your independence.

1. Choose Your Photographs Wisely. Pictures of children, your wedding, or a snapshot of you and your girlfriend show you can manage relationships. You value your roots--and your job, because these people depend on you. But too many pictures makes people think you'd rather be home than at work. And of course, leave the r-rated ones of your wife or girlfriend at home (even if she is a hottie!).

2. Sports Fans Beware. Coffee mugs and stationery from the hometown team are great for career boosters, especially if you work in the same city as the team. Just don't support a rival team or you'll be on the outs with everyone.

3. What You Read At Work Is Just As Important As When You Read It. If it's cool to read at your desk, choose newspapers and over tabloids. And always keep a current copy of a publication specific to your industry even if you never read it. (You can't lose points with that one.) But of course, the less you read at your desk the more it looks like you're working.

4. Don't Be Too Neat or Too Messy. A cluttered desk means you're working, but keep it well-stocked and clean it at the end of the day, or when you're on vacation, and you'll be known as the go-to guy when your boss needs help. Just don't be too anal. Obsessive neatness or fussiness means you probably can't handle an emergency. (One last tip: if you are a messy-desk person who wants to reform, don't clean off your desk before lunch, because when you come back everyone will think you've been fired).

Am I Losing My Mind?

I think I'm becoming senile. I have the ability to misplace something when I've never even left the room. Or could it be that unknown persons are sneaking into my house and car and stealing these items of little value? In the past two weeks I have lost items in my car and in my house. These are things that either have walked out on their own, or, in a fit of amnesia, I threw out. One of them was the entry card to Leisure World, a retirement community where my mother lives. Last week, after taking my mother on some errands, I showed the gate guard the card so I could get back in to take her home. I put the card back into the empty cup holder next to the steering wheel like I always do, and drove past the guard. Well, that was the last I saw of it. Yesterday, before I went to see my mother, I realized it was gone. I suppose it was a good excuse to clean out my car -- which I hadn't done in months -- but even after doing that and searching my purse I couldn't find it. My mother said it wasn't in her purse either. It just disappeared. My washing machine has been known to eat my socks, but is the first time my car has done something just as annoying to me. So now I have to buy a new one, which means a trip to the Leisure World office, or else my mother has to notify the guard every time I show up.

Big Fat Frannie

I love my cat Frannie. Right now she has a bladder problem and needs to take anti-biotics. She also has to be on a special diet for the rest of her life. And if that isn't enough, she's a bit overweight. Well, she didn't like the special diet so I'm mixing it in with her old food -- something the vet told me NOT to do -- but she wasn't eating at all. It's too much stress on her to give her anti-biotics AND a special diet. So I'm working in the special diet. I have to live with her, the vet doesn't. Frannie hates the anti-biotics. I try to hide the syringe when I'm taking it out of the refrigerator, so I can catch her unaware. But somehow she knows the difference between opening the refrigerator when I'm hungry, and when I'm going to zap her in the mouth with liquid medicine. As soon as I open the refrigerator for her meds, she hisses.

Frannie hisses a lot. She hisses when people come over, when other cats come around, and at me. She hates other animals and people, and sometimes even me. Just when I think can't take her anymore, she jumps on my lap and purrs and lets me pet her. Or when I'm standing she sits next to me and meows. Then she looks up at me. So I pick her up, put her over my shoulder, and pet her. That's heaven on earth to her.

Psychics and How They Do It

Last week I went to a party and they had a psychic. We all got psychic readings. When my turn came, instead of asking her for a reading, I asked her how she did it. I had talked to the other people at the party before my turn came and everyone said she was amazing. The psychic, who did not look anything like a gypsy -- she was blond and blue-eyed -- told me that everybody has the ability to tap into their future or to find out what people really think of them.

She told me how to do it, so I decided to try it. I asked a friend to be part of my experiment. She wanted to know how her ex-husband felt about her. She gave me his name and I closed my eyes and pictured him in my mind. Mentally, I asked her ex-husband how he felt about my friend. I told her exactly what I heard him say -- I didn't pass judgment on it, I just repeated what I believed I heard. I even described him, although I had never met her ex-husband. My friend said I was extremely accurate. And the words I used sounded like the words her ex-husband would have used.

Then my friend did the same for me about a guy I hadn't seen in a while. The result? She was just as accurate about my old boyfriend as I was about her ex-husband. I guess everybody is psychic.

I'd Like A Real Tire, Please

Yesterday I got a flat tire. I was driving into the animal hospital to pick up medicine for my cat Frannie, when I misjudged the curb and hit it. I didn't know I had a flat until I got out of the vet. I started to drive away when I realized I couldn't. I never had a flat in this car so I was hoping the spare was a real tire instead of those donuts that don't last very long (so named because they look like a rubber donut). But of course, when the auto club guy took it out of my trunk, it was a donut. I once hit curb years ago, just like yesterday, and I knew it called for a new tire and not a repair. So today I ended up spending a hundred dollars on a tire. I think car manufacturers should give people real spares and not these stupid donuts. They should make all tires repairable. We can put a man on the moon but we can't fix a tire when it hits the curb.

I got my tire at Goodyear. The guy was nice and agreed that spending money on a tire wasn't something most people wanted to do. To make up for it he said there was some pastry for me in their waiting room. But when I opened the big pink box on the counter, what do you think I saw? Donuts.

Mortgage Woes

I am one of those people who, come December, will have her mortgage rate sky rocket. Right now I pay 2%, but in December, unless I can make a deal with my mortgage company, I will pay over 7% as my interest rate. That does give me some time, but as it is, I can barely afford the 2% rate. I didn't set out to have this problem. I refied my mortgage to I remodel my house in the hopes of selling it. But the remodel took so long--getting good contractors wasn't the only problem, it was getting them to finish in a timely manner--by the time it was somewhat finished the market had collapsed. So did my work situation. I lost my job, so I'm freelancing at whatever I can get. I still have some of the refi money in the bank which I use to supplement my freelance work. I do have some stock I can sell if I have to, but again, that investment didn't turn out like I thought because the market is down now. Regardless of my situation, I remain optimistic. I'm educated, middle class, and not bad looking so I feel confident that something will turn up. Either that, or I'll have to live in my car. Well, at least it's paid for.

Technology and Cooking Don't Always Mix

About a year ago I remodeled my kitchen and I bought a set of heavy stainless steel pots and pans to go with my new kitchen. They were made by Emeril, which is a division of All-Clad. I'm not much of a cook but I was tired of using the old pots I had. The new set had a strip of copper around the sides. They looked great, but the heat had to be on the lowest simmer or everything would burn. And then even though I washed and dried them immediately after using them, they stained. I don't get why they call these stainless steel. There's nothing stainless about them. And the copper strip was impossible to clean, even with copper cleaner.

Yesterday I forgot I had a sauce pan of water cooking. I waited too long and the water evaporated. When I turned off the stove, the copper strip leaked aluminum drops all over the burner. Apparently, the copper strip was soldered to the pot by a layer of aluminum which becomes liquid if overheated.

I put the pot in the sink because it was making sizzling noises. I didn't realize the aluminum continued to leak from beneath the copper strip. Later, when I turned on the garbage disposal, it was jammed with hardened aluminum. I managed to chip out some of the aluminum, but not all of it. And it doesn't work anymore. So now I need a new sauce pan and a new garbage disposal.

Weird Relatives

I have weird relatives. My parents got divorced years ago. It was the first divorce in my extended family of cousins, aunts, and uncles. Before the divorce we were all very close. After the divorce the relatives on my mother's side sided with my father, who moved away, remarried and never saw any of them again. Meanwhile, my mother lost the companionship of her cousins and her brother and sister-in-law because they excluded her from many occasions. That meant my sister and I were also excluded. Although we always invited them, they rarely came to our events. Recently, my mother's brother died. We found out he was ill when my mother made her weekly call to him. A caretaker told her he had been in the hospital most of that week. When she finally got hold of one of his sons she was furious. No one called her and he was dying. They said it was because they thought he would be okay, but the truth was, they never considered my mother, even though she was his sister. We rushed over to see him before he died. Shortly before his funeral I learned that a cousin of ours had died six months earlier. His family was at my uncle's funeral. I found it hard to believe they wouldn't have called my mother to let her know about their father. They informed the other relatives, who all went to that funeral. But somehow we were missed. Or I guess we weren't.